Three!

Well there's some more homework for me to do/avoid, so it's time to write some more things for the internet to read and admire! Today we will be covering the two most awkward portions of my daily life: TRAINS IN JAPAN (kyoto), and SQUAT TOILET. One is about as uncomfortable as the other, so we'll start with trains!

To get to school, I have to take a semi-suburban above-ground-to-elevated-to-subway train (or really, I have to take two of them but it's the same line), and then transfer to a real subway the rest of the way. As a result, even in just a week I've ridden on a whole bunch of different trains and stood on a whole bunch of platforms with a WHOLE BUNCH of Japanese commuters. So, right-off-the-bat-differences with the American trains I know (New York and Chicago): They are much, much cleaner, but then, so is Japan in general. They are much less stigmatized- 80% of the people on the train have suits. This means there are about 4 people in any 2-foot-square area with suits. What's that you say? My numbers are wrong? That's not possible? Welcome to Japan. Much has been made of this elsewhere, but I have seen (and felt) my very own self that there are people who work at the stations whose job is to shove everyone into the train so the doors close. They wear uniforms, complete with hat and gloves, and they shove you right on in there. You don't have to deal with the embarassment of asking them to move or nothing, you are just carried right along with the horrible crush of humanity right into the train. Be this as it may, this is also carried out in an incredibly orderly fashion- no-one complains, tries to muscle out more than their fair share of space, or anything. It's all eyes straight ahead, hold your breath and think of England (or Japan I guess). Crazy stuff! Also crazy: on all the platforms, there is some indication of where the doors of the train will be when it arrives. There are even different signs for the 3-door and 2-door cars! This allows people to neatly queue up in front of where their door will actually be, meaning that looking down the platform when you first reach it, you can find the shortest line and thus most equally distribute the massive number of people trying to get on the train. Everyone lines up in two neat lines which part when the doors open, allowing the people exiting the train to pass through the Gauntlet of Impatience (something which does not happen in America- straight-up free for all) as quickly as possible. Which they do! Have you ever seen a woman flat-out sprint up a flight of stairs while wearing heels that could easily pierce your skull? I do EVERY MORNING. I have been at many a baseball practice where there was considerably less hustle than the most relaxed Japanese train station I have been to. I have seen 70 year old men take escalator stairs two at a time, only to get to the platform of their next transfer and patiently stand in line in front of the '2 doa shyaryou (two door train car)' sign for 10 minutes. It's amazing! On the other end of the age spectrum, there are also an incredible number of incredibly young children taking public transport. There are apparently no school buses in Japan (Kyoto, anyway), so children of all ages from elementary up must take the train or bike if they live far from school. They do this alone. It's totally baffling- I know I was not allowed to ride public transit alone until well into high school (at which point I did once manage to totally mess up, hilariously). I done said it, Japanese children are more competent at age 10 than I was at 18. It boggles the mind. Payment also makes more sense, as whether going by train or bus you are charged based on how far you go, meaning that you don't feel like quite such an idiot taking one for one or two stops.

Despite all of these examples why Japanese public transit is in every way better than Chicago's, I still prefer the latter because I am neither squished or stared at by old ladies and children alike.

Speaking of staring, the toilet in my host family's home is not western style. When I was first being shown around, my host mom said (in J of course) 'Well, Japanese toilets are a little.. strange.. do your best!' I am doing my best, and lemme tell ya, I think one of the reasons those 70 year olds can still spring up elevators is that you have to get a workout and stretch just to get your business done in the mornin' with these things. That's all I'ma gonna say about that.

So yeah! Kyoto is very nice, but very crazy. Hopefully by next time I'll have visited some temples and stuff! Maybe get some pictures up in hurr. Dunno.